With Nothing But The Clothes On My Back

The first leg of the journey begins in Thailand. Estimated travel time: 25 hours. Estimated length of stay: 30 days.

Imagine, if you will, that you're an impulsive twenty-something on the cusp of a quarter-life crisis...what would you do in that situation? Buy a house? Get a puppy? Or maybe your imaginings of this situation include children and you plan a big trip to Disney World. Now imagine that impulsive action goes horribly, HORRIBLY wrong. (If your thing was the trip to Disney, stop imagining... I can tell you what happens. It ends with sick, sunburnt, travel-weary children who suddenly don't like the $40 chicken tenders served by Princess Jasmine. Oh, and those jam-hand little buttheads are also going to be TERRIFIED of every character they see, thus ensuring not a single Christmas card worth photo.)

Since I just so happen to be an impulsive twenty-something on the cusp of a quarter-life crisis I don't have to imagine "my thing". I decided quit my job, backpack across Asia and Europe before going back to school. (I know, it seems terribly "Eat. Pray. Love."). Since I also happen to be an overly trusting individual with terrible luck, I don't have to imagine my thing going horribly wrong....

The most important part of backpacking across Asia an Europe is, arguably, the backpack. A few years ago I invested in one that I've taken on several trips. It is the perfect sized bag; it is large enough for the essentials of a back-country camping trip, but small enough to use as a carry-on during flights. After spending weeks thinking about packing (but only 15 minutes actually doing it) I was totally confident that I had everything I needed to begin my grand adventure.

Per the standard precautions of an international flight I arrived at the airport two hours early. Security was a breeze, I found my gate with no problem, and I got one of the comfortable seats next to an outlet. So far, so good.

When flying internationally with only a carry-on it is VITAL to be one of the first to board so they don't make you check your bag. I was literally the first person in line, that's how diligent I was. Then they finally called for zone two to board I basically ran to the desk, I'm fairly certain some of the college kids laughed at me, but joke's on them because I was going to get to keep my stuff with me.

I scanned my ticket and passport and that was when it all started going wrong.

*obnoxious beeping noise from the computer*
Delta agent: "I need to see your passport again..."(looks at passport, looks back at computer) "Oh. You have a one-way flight to Thailand with a connection in China. I need to see your Thai and Chinese Visas, please."

Me: "I'm not staying in Thailand long enough to require a visa, and I've only got a connecting flight in China, I don't need a visa... "

Delta agent: "If you can't prove you're leaving (motions for the person behind me to start moving forward) Thai customs might not let you into the country. As for China, I need you to step to the side while I look that up."(starts scanning other people through) "

My internal monologue: *no. No. NO! Stop letting all those bags through!*

Delta agent: (scans more people through) "okay, so...you're connecting through (scans more people through) Shanghai... (He takes a phone call) excuse me a moment...(he grabs the microphone) ATTENTION DELTA PASSENGERS. THE OVERHEAD STORAGE BINS ARE NOW FULL. ANY REMAINING CARRY-ON ITEMS WILL NEED TO BE CHECKED. THEY WILL BE AVAILABLE TO YOU AT YOUR FINAL DESTINATION." (Scans the rest of the people through)

My internal monologue: "* imagines myself on my knees gesturing both fists toward the sky* NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

Delta agent: "So it looks like you'll be fine in China. Enjoy your flight, and thanks for flying Delta"
Me: "........................... Thanks."

***25 hours of flying, worrying about my bag, watching movies, worrying about my bag, doing something that can only barely be considered sleep, and worrying about my bag.***

I disembarked the plane at 12:15am, but I didn't get through immigration until after 1:30am. Customs didn't give a fat-guy's fart about my one-way ticket, there were jut a TON of people arriving!

My internal monologue: " I hope that delta guy accidentally puts a red sock in the wash with all of his whites. That'll show him."

When I finally got to the appropriate baggage carrousel all of the unclaimed bags had been stacked and were being guarded by an airport official. After a quick scan I don't notice my bright orange pack. Little miss Lord of the Bags asks to see my checked bag receipt and immediately sends me to the baggage office.

My internal monologue: " this can't be happening. This is a nightmare. Maybe they just put backpacks in here because they are easy to steal.... That is totally a thing a major airport would take the time to do."

Good news: The line in the baggage office wasn't very long. Bad news: my bag was left at the Shanghai airport. Okay news: the nice baggage man assured me that it would be delivered to my hostel at 1:00 the following day.**

My internal monologue: " Yep. This sounds about right. I go through all of that trouble to get my clothes back (I accidentally donated about 90% of my clothes before I left. I got them back, but it was a process, let me tell you!) only to lose them in China!"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I found myself washing my underwear in the bathroom sink of a Thai hostel at 3:45 in the morning. Because if the universe is going to force me to wear the same outfit for the rest of my life I'm going to do it right!

** My bag actually arrived at 7:00pm the following night, but, as Jimmy Buffet would agree it was probably 1:00 somewhere .